Once she has come to terms with her past and mourned what she has lost, the survivor moves to becoming a thriver.
She understands the damage caused by the trauma and no longer feels possessed by the past. She will have reconstructed a coherent belief system, which encompasses her traumatic experience, allowing her to make sense of it.
She feels renewed hope and excitement—she is beginning to reach towards the person she wants to become.
At this stage, a thriver will be reconnecting with herself: allowing herself pride in her survival and strength; celebrating her achievements and courage; acknowledging and having compassion for her weakness and limitations.
She will also be learning to reconnect with others: regaining the capacity for trust—learning when to give it and when to withhold it; developing her social skills; able to deepen her relationships with others and allow herself intimacy; perhaps reclaiming her right to sexual pleasure.
The impact of the past trauma will continue to reverberate throughout a woman’s life. New experiences, especially stressful ones, will inevitably prompt the need for further exploration of herself and her experiences. She may need to return to counselling.
But a woman who is thriving will understand that this is not a failure—this is part of the healing path. Her journey may demand a detour, perhaps the need to revisit some events: it will help her to integrate her experiences, to deepen her understanding of who she is.
A thriver understands that she has faced the threat of annihilation—and survived to celebrate her life and its living.